Ode to Life

7:32pm: 10,000% guaranteed Return on Investment.
Sound too good to be true? This is the gospel! This is only exactly what Jesus said.

And the disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said to them again, “Children, how difficult it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” And they were exceedingly astonished, and said to him, “Then who can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.” Peter began to say to him, “See, we have left everything and followed you.” Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”

(Mark 10:24-31 ESV)

How does this actually play out? I look at the disciples. They had no place to rest their head; they went from house to house. And yet, every house they entered that welcomed them was their house for that time. So instead of one house, they were welcome in hundreds! I've found it to be true in my own life. I look at how I don't live near my mom or dad or sister, and yet I have such close relationships in the church. My peers are my brothers and sisters in Christ; The pastors are like fathers with wisdom and leadership. I look at City of Refuge, a non-profit in the city of Atlanta. They gave up everything for the cause of Christ. Someone paid millions at one time for the land on which their facilities rest. After much prayer and persuasion, the city gave all of the land to City of Refuge. I think of Hudson Taylor, who was compelled by the love of God to give away the last of his money to a poor, sick and dying family. He woke up to find in the mail 4x the amount he had given away. He exclaimed "Praise the Lord! Four hundred per cent for a twelve hours' investment! How glad the merchants of Hull would be if they could lend their money at such a rate of interest! (Hudson Taylor's spiritual secret, Moody Publishers, pg 39)"

"Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will repay him for his deed (Proverbs 19:17)."

So there you have it. It is possible to live in the kingdom of God--a different way of living that is truly better.

Join us! (all you have to do is give up everything to Jesus first) :-D

But is it really a sacrifice with such a high ROI backed by the King of the Universe? No, its no sacrifice; it's our joy.

"Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found, and hid. In his joy, he goes and sells all that he has, and buys that field."

— Matthew 13:44

7:19am: Are you a scholar or a disciple?
Reading through Mark, I've been amazed at the difference between the scribes and the disciples.

1. The scribes learn through reading, the disciples learn by looking at Jesus and doing what he does.
2. The scribes say all the right doctrine, but they don't actually live it.
3. The scribes have a propensity for arguing, especially pointing fingers at Jesus' disciples not doing something the "correct" way.
4. The scribes never see miracles, even if they are performed right in front of them.
5. The scribes ask to see miracles, but they do it to test Jesus and he performs no miracle for them.
6. The disciples are familiar with the teaching of the scribes, but they don't always fully understand it, so they ask Jesus to explain it to them. (Mark 9:11)
7. The scribes viewed the working of God as something of the past to be understood; rather than something of the present to be fulfilled. They knew all the signs of the coming messiah, and yet, when he came, they missed it.
8. In fact, the scribes and the Pharisees hunted down Jesus and killed him.

Jesus didn't ask his disciples to make scribes. He asked them to make disciples. I used to wonder if there was any hope for a scribe like me. Then God reminded me of the apostle Paul. He was a scribe too, and yet God saved him. Jesus, thank you for saving my life. Thank you for killing the scribe in me and fashioning a disciple for yourself.

8:16am: God knowing you.
And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
(Matthew 7:23 ESV)

Doing good works is for the purpose of knowing God. These “workers of lawlessness” lost sight of that and they did the good works forgetting that their purpose was for knowing Him. But there’s something more. It’s a two-way relationship. Jesus said “I never knew you.” The implication is that he wanted to know them. God wants to know me. It’s obvious from looking at any magazine that people want to know those who are famous. We are supposed to know God. That’s clear. But does he want to know us? How many times does a famous person want to know you?

I asked him. Is it true you want to know me? You want to know me!?
I said: “I don’t know what I have to offer you. Whatever is sin, you cannot even see. You have no part of it. You don’t know that part of me. And whatever in me that is good you already know because it is already of you. What else is there to know?”
And he told me “You express who I am in a way that no one else on earth does.”
And then the scriptures made sense to me. I do not express the full identity and character of Christ. He said that we all (collectively, in the context of the church) express Him.

And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,

(Ephesians 4:11-13 ESV)

We attain the unity of faith and the knowledge of Jesus, to maturity, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.

Is that not the point of the body of Christ? I am a part of his body. Alone, I cannot fully express the character of Christ; but in the context of the church is where his fullness dwells. God wants to know you in order to see a unique expression of who he is. After all, isn’t this the delight of a Father? He looks at his children. They aren’t him, but they are like him and he enjoys that. He delights to see how his children express a part of who he is. And together, all of his children give a more accurate picture of who he is.

Some are compassionate. Others are firey preachers. Some have mercy. Others are bold. Some are go-getters; others come alongside. It is only together that we have any hope of fully expressing who God is to a world that is in desperate need of knowing who he is.

6:19am: Prominence vs. Preeminence part 2
I realized there is a third assumption that has been recently challenged.

3. Your work defines you.

This is particularly prevalent in our culture. I've heard that here people ask "How are you?" and "What do you do?" to get to know a person. I've heard in Africa they ask "Who are you?" I asked a middle-eastern Christian what he does. First he said that he is a husband and a father. Then he told me what he does to make a living. He did not define himself by his work.

Under this assumption, if you really love God, you must do full-time ministry. If your work is what defines you, then you must be defined as one who does God's work.

Those who believe Jesus have been given a new identity independent of what they happen to do for a living.

From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

(2 Corinthians 5:16-17 ESV)

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
(1 Peter 2:9-10 ESV)

Christians primary identity rests in being a chosen, holy, beloved, accepted child of God. Everything flows from their new identity in Christ.

6:48pm: Prominence vs Preeminence
I was called to ministry when I 18 years old. There were two fundamental assumptions behind this call that I believed at that age.
1. Regular work and God's work are mutually exclusive.
2. God's work is done by people on church staff, and the rest of the people just do regular work.

These two assumptions have been severely challenged as I have sought to find out what my calling means.

I used to see a distinction between full-time work and full-time ministry. There used to be a separation between "time set-apart for the benefit of others--ministry" and then there's the rest of your life (which I guess would be time for the benefit of me). You know, you work 9-5 and then volunteer at the homeless shelter for a couple hours afterwards. There's a separation. You don't minister at work, and you don't work for money while you minister. Separate. This assumes that work to benefit others cannot benefit me or that work that benefits me cannot benefits others.

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship (Romans 12:1 ESV)." Christ didn't die to gain someone who would be willing to help out with the homeless every once-in-awhile. Christ died and resurrected to give me an entirely new life. My entire life is ministry. Full-time ministry isn't enough. It's only 40 hours a week. I live 168 hours in a week. Christ didn't come to gain part of me, he came to gain all of me.

We live in a spectator culture. We watch TV. We watch sports. We watch YouTube. We watch our Facebook status updates. We watch celebrities. We watch movies. And somehow it just naturally rubbed off in our churches. We come to hear some music and watch a preacher. Then we go home. No interaction. No conflict. No problems. We watch and pay the professionals to "do ministry." Yet see what the bible says: "And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ (Ephesians 4:11-12 ESV)." The job of the pastor isn't described as doing ministry, it's described as helping others do their ministry.

This life I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. It is his ministry. Lord, help me.

10:09am: Interesting Dream last night
Okay so I had a dream that I was driving around Atlanta. I was going north on 85 following my GPS and it told me to go east on 285, so I went east. I had a feeling I should have gone west. Sure enough, the GPS took me in a big loop and I ended up where I had to make the decision to go east or west again. But before I could make the decision, traffic came to a halt. The highway turned into a roller coaster. The only problem was that our car was stuck. And we were about to come to the part of the roller coaster where it does a twisting barrel-roll. But our car wasn't going fast enough to make it. So the car fell into the water below. Then we had to hold onto the roller-coaster tracks like monkey-bars. So we started inching our way forward so we could finally get on 285 west. But the junction was 2 miles away and we would have to monkey-bar the whole way there, as the tracks began to ascend higher and higher. I became more and more nervous about falling into the water 70 feet below. Every grab I took with my arms made me weaker and weaker. Finally, I lost all strength and fell into the water below.

Then I woke up.

This is the Atlanta highway system in my subconscious, and it isn't very far from the truth. Please, can we fix it? Thanks.

Sincerely,

Chris Woolfe.

10:32pm: How to make an executable script in Mac OS X without Apple Script
I searched around for this and didn't find anything very useful on the internet, so I thought I would share.

Background: I setup my desktop as a media server. It has a nice screen and speakers, unlike the laptops in our place. We use it as a DVD Player and for iTunes. I like to remotely login to it in order to change the song. So I downloaded Remote Desktop onto the Mac. It's not a polished program and one of the most irritating things is that it doesn't remember the last connection you made, so it makes you click Open->File to open the same connection. ... Isn't there a command line parameter we could use at startup to specify that file and avoid having to click it every time?

Here's how to make a script that will do that for you! I had a lot of fun doing this.

1. Open up TextEdit.
2. Copy paste the command into the editor:

#! /usr/bin/env bash
open -a "Remote Desktop Connection" "/users/cwoolfe/documents/RDC connections/Chris-Media"

(You could modify it to point to your program and your parameter if you wanted.)
3. Go to Format->Make Plain Text. This will remove the hidden font and formatting information from the file. Otherwise, that hidden information would get in the way of execution.
4. Go to File->Save As "Chris-Media" and save it on the desktop.
5. The OS needs to know it has permission to execute this code, so open up a Terminal window and cd to the file location. Then run "chmod +x Chris-Media"
6. The script works now, but you can't run it by double clicking. To fix this, right-click (Command+click) the file and select "Open With" and then select the Terminal, and check "always".
7. Now you can double click, but the icon is a confusing-looking piece of paper. To change it, go to the Finder and right-click your original Remote Desktop icon and go to "Get Info." look in the top left corner and you'll see the icon (not the bottom!) command+click again to copy it and then open the same "Get Info" window for your script icon and paste it in the upper left corner. Voila!
8. Finally, you may notice the terminal window hangs around after it executed. You can remove that by going to Terminal->Preferences->Shell and select "Close the Window" "When the Shell exits."

This also happens to be generally the same steps you would take to run any script on your unix-based machine. See, aren't you glad you learned? Thought so.

7:42am: The cause of the immigrants, single-moms, and fatherless
Like a cage full of birds,
their houses are full of deceit;
therefore they have become great and rich;
they have grown fat and sleek.
They know no bounds in deeds of evil;
they judge not with justice
the cause of the fatherless, to make it prosper,
and they do not defend the rights of the needy.
(Jeremiah 5:27-28 ESV)

“For if you truly amend your ways and your deeds, if you truly execute justice one with another, if you do not oppress the sojourner, the fatherless, or the widow, or shed innocent blood in this place, and if you do not go after other gods to your own harm, then I will let you dwell in this place, in the land that I gave of old to your fathers forever.
(Jeremiah 7:5-7 ESV)

God calls for justice for immigrants, single-moms, and fatherless children. He calls for an end to their oppression.

Are they not oppressed? I didn't think so until I began to walk with them. It's funny how it's much easier to tell when you are being treated with injustice than it is to tell if someone else is. Immigrants could have probably prospered in their native land where they know the language, culture, customs, laws, and have the support of their family. When a person moves to a new country, it is a new language, culture, customs, laws, and they may be the first family that moved. Immigrants and refugees rely on the hospitality and kindness of those around them in order to help them function in this new place.

I think that the tri-fold group is oppressed not in an active way, but in a passive way. They are oppressed by a general reluctance to include them in anything because, at first, they would only be a burden. People don't think to include immigrants, single-moms and the fatherless because there's nothing in it for them.

Shall I not punish them for these things?
declares the LORD,
and shall I not avenge myself
on a nation such as this?”
(Jeremiah 5:29 ESV)

Friends, we must repent because God's judgment is coming. We must seek to include the immigrants, single-moms, and the fatherless in the things we do that prosper so that they can prosper also; that there may be justice.

8:54pm: The Hate of God
I will make three points. One, that God rejects and opposes those who refuse to repent. Two, that he rejects and opposes people in order to cause them to repent. Three, that his goal in all of this is reconciliation.

“I have loved you,” says the LORD. But you say, “How have you loved us?” “Is not Esau Jacob's brother?” declares the LORD. “Yet I have loved Jacob but Esau I have hated. I have laid waste his hill country and left his heritage to jackals of the desert.” If Edom says, “We are shattered but we will rebuild the ruins,” the LORD of hosts says, “They may build, but I will tear down, and they will be called ‘the wicked country,’ and ‘the people with whom the LORD is angry forever.’” Your own eyes shall see this, and you shall say, “Great is the LORD beyond the border of Israel!”
(Malachi 1:2-5 ESV)

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
(Psalm 139:21-22 ESV)

To hate is to reject, despise, and oppose someone or something. Clearly God hates sin, but does he hate people? According to the previous two verses, he does. How can this be?

Psalm 51:17 says "a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Therefore God will not reject someone who hates their sin and wants to change. The logical counterpart in this statement is that he does reject those who love their sin and don't want to change. This accords with James 4:6 which says “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. (James 4:6 ESV)" Clearly God opposes people who are proud and think they don't need God. This is a form of rejection and hatred. Jesus gave no miracle when the proud Pharisees demanded one, and yet he gave miracle after miracle to those who trusted him.

This rejection accords with how God teaches us to treat people who call themselves believers but live a lifestyle of sin and don't want to change. "But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. (1 Corinthians 5:11 ESV)" “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. (Matthew 18:15 ESV) Therefore "gaining your brother" (reconciliation) is the goal of the confrontation. "...God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil... (2 Timothy 2:24-26 ESV)"

The goal of God's rejection (hatred) is reconciliation. This accords with how God treats us. He rejects us and actively opposes us when we love sin more than him. He causes things to go very badly for us in order that we would see the error in our ways and turn to him.

Hear, O earth; behold, I am bringing disaster upon this people,
the fruit of their devices,
because they have not paid attention to my words;
and as for my law, they have rejected it.
(Jeremiah 6:19 ESV)

O LORD, do not your eyes look for truth?
You have struck them down,
but they felt no anguish;
you have consumed them,
but they refused to take correction.
They have made their faces harder than rock;
they have refused to repent.
(Jeremiah 5:3 ESV)

“Come, let us return to the LORD;
for he has torn us, that he may heal us;
he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.
(Hosea 6:1 ESV)

“For my name's sake I defer my anger,
for the sake of my praise I restrain it for you,
that I may not cut you off.
Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;
I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.
For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it,
for how should my name be profaned?
My glory I will not give to another.
(Isaiah 48:9-11 ESV)

John appeared, baptizing in the wilderness and proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.
(Mark 1:4 ESV)

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
(1 John 1:8-9 ESV)

let the wicked forsake his way,
and the unrighteous man his thoughts;
let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him,
and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
(Isaiah 55:7 ESV)

Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
And the LORD will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
the restorer of streets to dwell in.
(Isaiah 58:9-12 ESV)

11:32am: The ministry of death and the ministry of the Spirit
The truth is that I struggle with the fear of man. The fear of rejection. So sometimes I do what other people want me to instead of what I know God wants me to. The truth is that God accepts me the way I am. No matter my performance. No matter my behavior. Romans 15:7 is the contains the proof: "Accept one another just as Christ as accepted you so that God will given glory." Just as Christ has accepted you. Wow. It's hard for me to believe that because I know who I am and how many times I fail to do his will. But the truth is that my standing before God has nothing to do with how many times I fail but on the victory of Jesus Christ. "For if, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ. (Romans 5:17)"

Let me contrast the ministry of the Spirit with the ministry of death. When I understand that God accepts me, I welcome others just as Christ welcomes me. This is the ministry of the Spirit. This contrasts the ministry of the letter, of the law, and of death comes with condemnation. This is the preacher on the corner handing out nothing but wrath and condemnation. This is the ministry that results in that guilty feeling coupled with no hope. The ministry that leads you to frustration because you know that whoever is putting this law on you hasn't even kept it themselves. Hypocrites. This is the ministry that would say to me "You keep doing what other people want you do do instead of what God wants you to do. You're not doing well. You need to to be a better Christian."

ESV study bible puts it this way "The letter kills since it announces God's will without granting the power to keep it, thereby bringing people under God's judgment as covenant breakers. The Spirit alone gives life because only the Spirit can change the heart, thereby enabling God's people to keep his commands."

It's not that the ministry of death isn't stating a fact; it's that it has no power to change the heart. We are unlike God in that we believe that people change through guilt-trips. Now read 2Corinthians 3:5-11

Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
Now if the ministry of death, carved in letters on stone, came with such glory that the Israelites could not gaze at Moses' face because of its glory, which was being brought to an end, will not the ministry of the Spirit have even more glory? For if there was glory in the ministry of condemnation, the ministry of righteousness must far exceed it in glory. Indeed, in this case, what once had glory has come to have no glory at all, because of the glory that surpasses it. For if what was being brought to an end came with glory, much more will what is permanent have glory.
(2 Corinthians 3:5-11 ESV)

The law for my situation is "You need to accept other people. You need to not be conformed to other people. You need to stop fearing what people will think." It's negative. It's condemnation.

It's only the beginning, and it's coming to an end.

The glory of the truth that follows in the Spirit eclipses the condemnation: "You are loved by God. You are accepted by God. There's nothing you could do to change that. He thinks about you all the time." What naturally follows is the power to keep the command "accept other people," because it rests on the foundation of God's acceptance.

As Christians, we must no longer operate in the ministry of the letter of the law, death, and condemnation because this ministry is over. God's word and his law still stands. It is till true. The Ten commandmentsIs this not what it says? "God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit," and later, "what once had glory has come to have no glory at all." There is no glory in condemning people. Now, it says "no glory at all" Does this not mean that God receives no glory from the ministry of condemnation? For if there is "no glory at all" that means no glory. At all. Not for anybody. Not for anything.

Now, I used to operate very much in evangelism using the ten commandments. It was and is my understanding that people need to understand how sinful they are and how holy God is before they can come to him. But is this the ministry we have been given? I stood on the NASB translation of Galatians 3:24 "Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith." But the greek is ambiguous and the context is revealing. Let's read it in the ESV "So then, the law was our guardian until Christ came, in order that we might be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, (Galatians 3:24-25 ESV)" Again there Paul goes again de-emphasizing the law, saying that we are no longer under it. That now in Christ we have something better.

Perhaps the principle still stands "Law for the proud, grace for the humble." Jesus did bring the proud rich young ruler to the law, while giving grace to the humble prostitute washing his feet with her tears. Last night, hanging out with those like the prostitute has helped me to understand the ministry of grace so much more.

4:26pm: Why your beliefs are important
The odometer on my car just hit 100,000 miles. The check engine light is on. I know that one day this car is going to die. I thought of how I got the car. My dad bought it for me before I went to college. I remember we went to the lot dressed in old clothes to signify we didn't have much money to spend. Dad has a gift for haggling the price down. My dad made it his goal to get my sister and I through college with zero debt. After graduating in December, I can say they succeeded. I'll eventually forget what I was taught in college and this car will eventually turn its last piston, but the beliefs of my parents have stuck with me. He believed so strongly in getting us through college with no debt, now I believe it too, and I'd like to do it for my kids. This is why what we believe is so important. I'll eventually forget what I learned, and my car will be gone and one day my dad will be gone too. But that belief that he instilled in me has remained and will remain.

When people see a belief acted out from start to finish and they can see that it is successful, it remains as a blessing. When people see a belief acted out from start to finish and they can see that it is harmful, it remains as a curse. Either way, what you believe will remain for the next generation. In this manner, a way of life continues. I think about what an honor, privilege and responsibility it is to pass on the truth in what I believe to the next generation. I have just enough time so that by the time I die, I will have passed on everything important and I know I can rest in peace--having finished my calling.

" I will utter hidden things, things from of old—
things we have heard and known,
things our ancestors have told us.
We will not hide them from their descendants;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
his power, and the wonders he has done (Psalm 78:1-4). "

6:54am: Divine Healing and Jesus
(See Mark 5:21-43) It seems the only constant in Jesus’ healing ministry was Jesus. Notice how the ruler of the synagogue asks him to come and lay his hands on his daughter that she be made well. Jesus goes with him to his house to do just that and she is healed. Now after the request but before the healing, while they are on the way, a woman believes that if she will just touch Jesus garments she will be made well. This was the same faith of Jairus, but it was manifested differentl in her action. Remember the centurion believed that if Jesus just said the word, his kin would be healed. So Jesus gives to each in accordance with what they ask in faith. Perhaps Jairus didn’t believe that if Jesus just said the word his daughter would be healed. Maybe he didn’t even think to believe that. The way he saw it, if Jesus would just lay his hands on her, she would be made well. The way the woman with the discharge of blood saw it, if she could just touch his garments, she would be made well. However, in all these different ways of acting (reaching out to touch garments, walking to the house and laying hands, saying the word) the centerpiece of trust is Jesus. These three showed their belief that Jesus would heal by asking him. They asked his healing come through specific actions of Jesus (touching the garment, laying hands, saying a word) Do you believe Jesus will heal you through the actions of a doctor? Through washing in the Jordan river 7 times? Through spit in the eyes? There is no room for pride in the life of a doctor. If God can heal without a doctor; Or if God can heal through spit in the eyes, where is there room for pride in a doctor that heals? They cannot take credit for the work of God! Where is there room for pride in a preacher or teacher? Has God not spoken through a bush? Through a donkey? Speakers cannot take credit for the work of God!

7:42am: Christ views death differently than we do.
[35] While he was still speaking, there came from the ruler's house some who said, “Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?”...[39] And when he had entered, he said to them, “Why are you making a commotion and weeping? The child is not dead but sleeping.”(Mark 5:39 ESV)

Christ views death differently than we do. For him, death is a separation from God. This is how people can be “alive” in the body but be dead to God (Ephesians 2) And Christ also renewed Paul’s mind in this area, for he said "Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep." (1Cor 15:6) This isn’t just a euphemism and it isn’t just a way to “take the edge” off of the hard word of death. Nor is Paul saying that some have died as if falling asleep and death were equivalent. For Paul is just about to launch into a defense of the resurrection itself. For if the dead are raised, then we will be raised with Christ. Therefore, when our body ceases to function, we have not died. For how can those who have eternal life now and in the future die? We cannot! Our lives are hidden with the eternal living of Christ. Therefore, let us stop this talk of Christians “dying,” for we will not die. Don’t you know that you were dead? Now you have been made alive in Christ! Since we will be raised, we do not die; we fall asleep only to be awoken later to the resurrection when we will be with Christ forever. Hallelujah!

7:37am: I think we're doing discipleship all wrong
Where do we get the idea that we can "make disciples" through 1 meeting a week and/or a curriculum out of a book?

Jesus made disciples by walking with them. He spent almost all of his time with them. He taught them 50% by example and 50% by his teaching. Jesus disciples learned by watching Jesus do what he explained in his teaching. What makes us think that we should do it differently than Jesus? Is our way somehow better?

I long to walk with people and Jesus. I want that deep relationship that spends so much time together. I know unbelievers who know more of what it's like to have a close tight-knit group of friends than some Christians do about true community. You know what i mean? -- Friends who do everything together like the movie Sandlot.

The closest thing I had to what I view as true discipleship was the relationship I had with my best friends growing up in Jupiter, later, my roommates in college; and now the closest thing I have to discipleship is the relationship I have with my wife. I hope one day to disciple my kids.

Where do these other once-a-week relationships fit in? They are fellowship; I enjoy the time we spend together. But let's not call them discipleship. Let's call them for what they are.

7:34pm: Palestinians and Israelis are not treated with justice and mercy.
Introduction

Webster defines justice as "the maintenance or administration of what is just especially by the impartial adjustment of conflicting claims or the assignment of merited rewards or punishments; the administration of law; especially : the establishment or determination of rights according to the rules of law or equity; the quality of being just, impartial, or fair."

Palestinians are not treated with justice. Israelis are not treated with mercy. I assume that you agree with the latter statement because there always seems to be news of another Palestinian bombing in Israel. But what you may not know is that the media is biased and doesn't tell the other side of the story; therefore, the goal is to convince you that Palestinians are not treated with justice.

I will give examples of injustice Palestinians have suffered and continue to suffer.
I write the essay because God is just and he loves justice. "For I the LORD love justice...(Isaiah 61:8)" "For God shows no partiality (Romans 2:11)" "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8)" Furthermore, the bible commands that I speak

8 Open your mouth for the mute,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Open your mouth, judge righteously,
defend the rights of the poor and needy. (Proverbs 31:8-9)

The goal of advocating for justice and mercy in the Middle East is peace. For the bible is clear that justice is foundational for peace.

16 Then justice will dwell in the wilderness,
and righteousness abide in the fruitful field.
17 And the effect of righteousness will be peace,
and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.
18 My people will abide in a peaceful habitation,
in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.
(Isaiah 32:17)

Injustice Seen Abroad

In the town of Hebron,



We met a guy who spoke to us in Arabic, and Daniel translated. We were in the market. He directed us to look up. We saw a metal grating above us. Stuck in the grating was trash and rocks. He explained that Jewish settlers live above. The Palestinians put up the metal mesh as a protection against the rocks that the settlers would throw down on the Palestinians. I didn't really believe him until a young Jewish school-person threw a rock down on us moments later as we walked away from the mesh. The rock hit the ground with a loud pop.


Our new friend took us up a few staircases to the rooftop of his house.



He showed us bullet holes in their water tanks. He explained that he's been shot twice and some people very close to him have been killed. He has a wife and two kids. On the rooftop we saw an ambulance come by and an independent news reporter with some soldiers. We snapped this photo:



Our new friend then took us into his living room and offered us some tea. He told us of how recently soldiers came and forcibly closed shoppes in the marketplace. This is what they look like now:



The Palestinians used to sell gold there.

There are many more stories to tell, but for the sake of brevity, I will move on.

Injustice in Zionist Writings

What is the fault of the Palestinians? What have they done to deserve such treatment? In short, they live in a land where they are not welcome. And why? Because Zionists want a Jewish state on their land. David Ben-Gurion, the first PM of Israel stated: "Why should the Arabs make peace? If I was an Arab leader I would never make terms with Israel. That is natural: we have taken their country ... They only see one thing: we have come here and stolen their country. Why should they accept that? They may perhaps forget in one or two generations' time, but for the moment there is no chance. So it is simple: we have to stay strong and maintain a powerful army."

He is also quoted as saying "We must use terror, assassination, intimidation, land confiscation, and the cutting of all social services to rid the Galilee of its Arab population." (Palestinian Memories, Bethlehem Bible College Press, page 113)

Palestinians are often seen as terrorists, and yet there you have it: Zionism is also loaded with terrorism. This is confirmed by speaking with a Palestinian teenager while we were there. He explained how a soldier threatened to come and kill him in his sleep. This is a scare-tactic! Ben-Gurion's ideas are further put to practice in the unjust policies for the distribution of water. Jewish settlers get free water 24/7, and yet the Palestinians only get water two days of seven and they have to pay for it. This policy is clearly unjust--it is based in the same racism that Ben-Gurion advocated. It is racism no different than we battled only fifty years ago. It is racism no different than apartheid South Africa between 1948 and 1993. It is racism that must stop because God is no racist. "And [Peter] said to them, "You yourselves know how unlawful it is for a Jew to associate with or to visit anyone of another nation, but God has shown me that I should not call any person common or unclean...34So Peter opened his mouth and said: "Truly I understand that God shows no partiality, 35but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him. (Acts 10:28,34)

Injustice Recounted in Books

I could go on, but why don't you? For further information, check out this book.

Let it be known that I support just treatment for Palestinians, and mercy for the Jews. Walking with Palestinians for three days has made it easier to understand how such anger and bitterness can well up and overflow in acts of violence. They don't generally like their unjust oppressors and occupiers. But every one that I met deals with it on a daily basis in a peaceful way. This is the mercy of which I speak:
Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.
(1 Peter 2:13-23 ESV)

And yet I know that suffering injustice can wear on a person and eventually they get sick and tired of it and want to stand up for their rights and fight back. Ben-Gurion could not foresee a peaceful co-existence of Arabs and Jews; but I know that one day we will see it under the Jesus administration. Someone else knows it, and spray painted it on the giant wall in-between Jerusalem and Bethlehem.



Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” (Revelation 21:1-5 ESV)

8:56pm: My Life's Story (condensed)
The following is the story of my life in condensed version.

I was born in the suburban town of Jupiter, Florida. My Mom and my Dad both went to church every since I could remember. I remember getting lollipops for memorizing bible verses. My mom tried to convince me to accept Jesus as my Savior when I was very young. I didn't want to because the way I saw it, my life was okay and I didn't need anything extra.

I was a little kid and got into the trouble that little kids do. I stole a suction cup from the hardware store, and another time I stole quarters from an arcade machine. When my Dad asked me where I got the quarters I remember saying "I don't know." I remember feeling guilty.

I went to a Christian summer camp when I was five or six years old. They told me that the reason I felt guilty was because that was sin and that God could free me from my sin. So I "asked Jesus into my heart,"--whatever that meant at such a young age.

I grew up in the church and heard just about every sermon they could give me. I was a "straight A" student and thought that I was just naturally brilliant. It started going to my head. I became very prideful and arrogant in the knowledge that I had accumulated. It got so bad to the point where, at the age of 17 or 18 I confronted my youth pastor and told him that he needed to do a better job teaching and read his bible more (when I wasn't even reading mine!) I thought that he would concede, and say that he would try harder; but instead, he called into question my motives. He explained how I was acting very arrogant. I argued with him for awhile because I disagreed. In that conversation God showed up. God intervened. He revealed to me the extent of my sin, which was pride. Faced with this realization, I broke into tears like I never have before saying through sobs "My pride is a wall! My pride is a wall!" God showed me that it had been a wall keeping me from real relationships with other people in the church, friends, and family. The pastor brought up how I wasn't even friends with most people in the group because I thought I was too good for them. It was then that the gospel made sense for me personally. I had always known that Jesus came to save sinners. But now I knew that reality applied to personally--I was a sinner! That was me! It was a bittersweet moment because I realized my guilt, and yet simultaneously realized that God has already punished my sin in Jesus death on the cross--he took care of it already!

Shortly thereafter I graduated high school. I went to middle and high school in a poor neighborhood. I didn't have much contact with people from this neighborhood--I was mostly just a suburban kid from Jupiter and hung out with people like me. But now I started seeing people in this area for the first time. What was being done about the drugs, violence, and prostitution? What would drive somebody to break into my car while I was at school and steal my radio and cell phone? Why was it that most mug-shots I saw on TV was of another black person? I had always been taught that people were equal, but this was unequal. The thought occurred to me to live here and love people in Jesus name. But I couldn't do that. I had already planned my life out at the age of 18. I was going to college to get my degree to get a good job to live a good life comfortably, enjoy the world, invent some gadgets, maybe a wife and kids, and then you retire by the beach, and you die. Could there really be more than this? I couldn't believe it so I went to college like I had planned.

During college I began to read the Bible consistently for the first time in my life. I started memorizing it. I became involved with a church of passionate Christians who just wanted their lives to matter for something eternal. I started realizing that God is trustworthy. I began to realize that if God did talk to people nowadays (I had always assumed that he didn't), then helping the poor would be something he would say. I started realizing through the book of Jonah that God did actually give someone a direct command: "Go there, do this." (Jonah1:1) I lived with this constant nagging feeling that I was disobeying God. It took two more years before I finally gave-in and had to admit that this thought to go and love people in Jesus name wasn't just a thought--it was a calling. It was God telling me to do something. I decided to do it.

I began to pray "okay, I'll do it, but you have to show me how." I trusted Proverbs 3:5-6"Trust in the LORD with all your heart. Don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." It was soon after that I ran across a group called UrbanPromise in Camden, New Jersey--one of the poorest cities in the US. They had a college-intern program for people like me interested in urban ministry. I didn't know anyone there. I had never been to New Jersey. I decided to go. I raised the money and spent a summer teaching a Bible class as a part of their summer camp. In that summer I was humbled. Apparently helping urban problems requires more than me saying 'yes' to get involved.

The following summer I interned in the same city where God called me three years prior--West Palm Beach. The people from Urban Youth Impact welcomed me and taught me their way of life. I prayed with them, sang with them, worshiped with them. We helped with the Summer Jam program. We walked the streets. We prayed with people in the streets. I learned so much about what it means to make disciples and to have an intimate relationship with Jesus. I learned how to pray.

All during this time I was studying Computer Engineering at UF and seeking to make disciples with my roomates. I spoke with pastor Chris from Urban Youth Impact (UYI) about doing a summer internship in engineering. He said it would be a good idea. So I started looking. I met a girl named Katherine, and half a year later she announced she was going to Washington, DC for that summer with a couple friends to live and work there during the summer. I went. After I went I found a fantastic job working as an engineering intern with General Dynamics Advanced Information Systems. This job was totally an answer to prayer (my dad had to bail me out financially) This job provided much needed job experience and money to make it through the rest of the year.

Katherine and I were dating at the time, and later in the Fall I asked her to marry me. Katherine had the three essential qualities I wanted in a wife: She loved Jesus, I was attracted to her, and I knew that she would be up for living in the ghetto. I had imagined we would get married after she finished grad-school. Ever since I said 'yes' to God's calling I planned to move to West Palm and minister there. One day when I was driving up to visit Katherine I listened to Lecrae's new album titled "Rehab." I was struck by how much I didn't hear Lecrae on that album. I heard a bunch of other people. I was astounded to see this guy using his platform to raise up others. He helps people like K.B. by giving them a stage when they had none. I thought to myself: "I want to do that. I want to raise people up." God began to direct my thoughts. Jesus had 12 disciples. Abraham was the father of Issac. Issac was the father of Jacob who helped bear twelve sons that became the tribes of Israel. Jesus raised up twelve disciples, Jacob did, and I realized that I do too. Before we were even dating, Katherine had a vision of us together on a porch with a bunch of kids running around and the sense that these kids felt safe and at home there. The kids were of many different ethnicities. Katherine wants to adopt and I want at least one child of my blood. I want to raise them up. I want to influence people to live in the reality of the kingdom of God. God helped me realize that Katherine and I's relationship would be foundational to any ministry we would have and that my primary ministry is first to her. What kind of leader would I be to leave her for a year while I did my own thing? I knew that I had the rest of my life to minister in West Palm but only this year to be there for her while she grows and matures in Jesus. So I made the decision to marry her sooner than later.

I graduated in December 2010. We got married on January 2nd 2011. I moved to be with her in Atlanta a week later. I started a new job as a software developer a week after that. I've been here in Atlanta for over a month. My goal in being here for at least a year is to build a solid relationship with my wife in order that we will be prepared for the great endeavors God has for us.

9:15am: Don't you hate it when people judge you?
[23] One Sabbath he was going through the grainfields, and as they made their way, his disciples began to pluck heads of grain. [24] And the Pharisees were saying to him, “Look, why are they doing what is not lawful on the Sabbath?”
(Mark 2:23-24 ESV)

The Pharisees were judging people for snacking at the "wrong time." How does Jesus respond?

"And he said to them, “Have you never read what David did, when he was in need and was hungry, he and those who were with him: [26] how he entered the house of God, in the time of Abiathar the high priest, and ate the bread of the Presence, which it is not lawful for any but the priests to eat, and also gave it to those who were with him?” (Mark 2:25-26 ESV)

Jesus openly and plainly says that David did something that was "not lawful". He sinned. What does Jesus say or do about that? Does he condemn David saying "I caught you breaking the law! You did what was wrong! You must be punished!" This is what the Pharisees would do -- condemn people (who actually were breaking the law, mind you) and punishing them. No. Jesus doesn't come to condemn David; he already stood condemned. (c.f. John 3:17-18) He came to save David. In the next sentence Jesus justifies David instead! "[27] And he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. [28] So the Son of Man is lord even of the Sabbath.” (Mark 2:27-28 ESV) Jesus knows that David did what was unlawful. But instead of condemning David, he justifies him! It is God who justifies! Friends, this is good news!

[14] Now after John was arrested, Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, [15] and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.”
(Mark 1:14-15 ESV)
[33] Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. [34] Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. [35] Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? [36] As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
[37] No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. [38] For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, [39] nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Romans 8:33-39 ESV)

[14]...Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, [15] and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the good news.”
(Mark 1:14-15 ESV)

8:52am: Futility, groaning and hope.
I’ve been frustrated, angry bitter, tired, hopeless lately. I look around and I see that the world is in so much pain and trouble because of sin. For example, I saw someone cheat on an Ethics quiz yesterday. Yes, that’s pretty funny. It’s very ironic. It’s very sad. I see the people around me doing the same old thing: gossip, slander, complaining; not loving their neighbor, lovers of themselves, lovers of money and it grieves me because I can see the brokenness it is bringing to the group and to themselves. I firmly believe that we as people will work together in a more productive way once sin is eradicated. In fact, the entire world will be liberated to love and serve God. But now we are simply frustrated. Our plans are constantly frustrated. We are hit with futility at every corner. On Saturday I spent two hours trying to get Altium Designer to import and use the correct library. This should take five minutes. (Is this a result of sin? Perhaps not directly, but what if someone who knew how to do it sought me out to show me because he loved his neighbor? I'm not blaming said imagined person, simply arguing that sin affects us more deeply than we acknowledge) We are people who try, and many times we fail. I go again to tutor kids and over and over it’s the same mess. If they could love God and love one another, their whole lives would be different; and learning would be a joy rather than a burden. I frankly told them yesterday that I think we failed at “today.” They came to me bringing some of their little arts and crafts project trying to convince me otherwise; but I want something so much better for them than successful arts and crafts. There is a certain futility to life that we experience every day. What’s made me bitter and angry is the hopelessness I saw. I felt like there was nothing I could say or do to change this and that even if I told them that they could actually be set free from this sin and futility, that they wouldn’t believe me and wouldn’t care. This has kept me from speaking, but I can hold it in no longer. I want to share the hope that I have in Jesus so that those around me will be free.
[20] For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope [21] that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. [22] For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. [23] And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. [24] For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? [25] But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
(Romans 8:19-25 ESV)
It is a good thing that sinful people are subject to futility. Would you want a heartless, ruthless, tyranical dictator living forever? Forever ruining everything around him? No! God subjected sinful people (and creation itself) to futility in hope they would repent. Those who do the will of God will live forever because they are constantly improving everything around them because they know Jesus. The wages of sin is death because God is love. Eventually, you sin long enough, and you will die--thus ending your free-choice to sin, and in a sense, saving the rest world from your stench. People are relieved with evil people die because they dont’ have to deal with them anymore. God doesn’t want you to die in your sins; he wants you to live forever with him--doing what is right.
How I long for the day when we can work together with true productivity, joy, glory, and peace! And we will:
[5] “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
[6] “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
(Matthew 5:5-6 ESV)
These are some results of the freedom that God brings. This is a result of the Gospel. God took your death that your sin deserved so that you can live with him. Please believe this and begin a relationship with Jesus today.

10:06am: The virtue of doing something "because you want to."
I am realizing again what it's like to do something because you want to; not because you have to. Last night I said 'no' to a social event because I just have too much going on right now to leave town again on another weekend. Senior projects are due in three weeks and I am a week behind schedule. I’m looking forward to dedicating all day today to catch up on that.

So last night--unexpectedly--I had a couple hours to myself. For a fleeting moment I felt bored. My reaction was to invite people over for a fun evening of whatever--hanging out together. And then I remembered when I used to do this a lot. And I realized that don't think I've done something like this in three years--had people over because I wanted to. In elementary, middle and high school there were things I did because I wanted to, and others because I had to. Had to do homework. Did it. Wanted to have the guys over for poker night. Wanted to have the guys over for Nintendo night. When we were younger, it was sleepovers and video games. We really enjoyed it and we enjoyed being with each other.

I think that I had lost the virtue of doing something "because you want to" in college because of this spirit of obligation I've run into here. I tend to take responsibility for a lot of things--usually more than I can handle. Between school, homework, tests, GCL, tutoring, friendships--there's not much leeway, there's not much free time to have to think for myself--it's all just keeping commitments on a calendar.

I believe there is virtue in doing things "because you want to" because I believe the bible. I'll share one story and two verses.

[Jesus Anointed at Bethany]
[6] Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, [7] a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head as he reclined at table. [8] And when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, “Why this waste? [9] For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.” [10] But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me. [11] For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me. [12] In pouring this ointment on my body, she has done it to prepare me for burial. [13] Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.”
(Matthew 26:6-13 ESV)

[7] Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
(2 Corinthians 9:7 ESV)

[2] shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly;
(1 Peter 5:2 ESV)

Nobody told the woman to anoint Jesus. In fact, if she asked anyone, they'd probably advise against it because the perfume was so expensive. Nevertheless she lavished her most expensive perfume on him because she wanted to. Why? Because she wanted to. Because she was convinced in her mind that he was worth it. The next verse (2Cor 9:7) is perhaps the strongest argument for the virtue of doing something because you want to; not because you have to. God loves a cheerful giver! If I give only because of a sense of duty, reluctantly, under compulsion, I have not been made complete in love and joy. Jesus doesn't just want to change my actions; He is changing my heart. And a heart that takes joy in giving will give.

11:50pm: "Just Trust Me" Moments.
Ever seen a movie where one character must rescue another. But the person being rescued always has a bunch of questions. Eventually the hero says "Shush! There's no time! Just trust me!" They leap into the helicopter, or whatever it may be, and begin their adventure with this new hero, having escaped the grasp of some evil.

Well I believe that God has moments like this with us, but I'm about to make an argument that this doesn't seem to be his normal method of communicating and relating to humans. It seems to be a method that is reserved for desperate situations. Why?

1. Jesus taught. Jesus taught. (See: Mark 1:22,39. Mark 2:13. etc. etc. Matthew 5) This is HUGE! A God who only acted in accordance with the previous scene, wouldn't teach. He would have no need to explain, ever. It would always taken as a matter of trust and faith. You would never understand, or need to understand why to do a certain action (like tithing, or serving or jumping into a helicopter) you would just blindly always do whatever you were commanded, like one of God's robots.

Thankfully, God isn't out to make robots who download and run his programs of ministry (Youth programs, outreach programs, church programs, ministry programs); God is out to make you into a person in relationship with Him. Because he knows that people in relationship with Him will do lots of good things! "John 15:5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." Matthew 7:17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. Jesus is saying something profound in Mt 7:17. He's asking us to focus on the fact that action comes from character.

Jesus taught because he's interested in who you are becoming. In fact, Jesus is more interested in who you are becoming than on what you are doing. He's God; he can get anyone to do anything, but what's he's after is something different: a change in your character. He said "Be holy as I am holy." and that we were "called to be holy." And this is the good work that God is doing in us.

Here's the subtle but huge distinction: "Romans 12:2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Look carefully and you will see something amazing here. In this verse, God isn't only this a commander from without (As evidenced by his speaking with the direct command to Abraham, Jonah, etc.) , he's a force of change within. He is renewing our mind. He's changing us from the inside out. Once we are being renewed, our character, our mind changes so that we do different things not because we are trying to be something we're not, but because we are acting in accordance with who we are. God isn't as much interested in what you do as with who you are. Christians lie. But because of Christ's renewing power, they are not liars. Their fundamental identity has changed, so they are increasingly acting more in accordance with this new identity as truth-tellers. They are able to test and approve what God's will is because their mind is being renewed! (In this verse, not because they heard a voice from heaven.) My point is that God does both. He speaks from heaven (Abraham, Jonah, etc.) but his style for daily living seems to be more of one of renewing your mind, so that you can SEE FOR YOURSELF that he is good, and what his will is. Can you imagine how confusing it would be to always have your antenna up to hear messages from God? Hear one thing one day, then another; hard time discerning which to follow. What is God's voice? Here in this verse, it is clear that God will change YOU and because of that YOU will make better decisions.

In summary, Jesus taught because he loves us and wants us to understand the new life we have in Christ; not simply and blindly do and obey. He wants us to understand who we are in Jesus because that is the vine from which the "things we do" come from. Jesus taught.

2. I thought I had another point. Maybe later. Good Night.

10:06am: How religious people hinder other people from coming to God
[Jesus Heals a Paralytic]
[2:1] And when he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home. [2] And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them. [3] And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. [4] And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay. [5] And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” [6] Now some of the scribes were sitting there, questioning in their hearts...
(Mark 2:1-6 ESV)

The scribes were “sitting there.” Was this sin? YES. Of the highest order! Now we know that “many were gathered, so that there was no more room, not even at the door.” In other words, it was “standing room only.” Notice the body language here. The Scribes are sitting closest to Jesus. Perhaps there is some distance between them and Jesus because it would be awkward to sit that close to a person addressing such a large group of people. When a room is packed, sitting takes more room than standing. So the scribes were taking up more space than the other people. So check out what is actually happening here. The scribes are so focused on themselves, that they actually hinder others from getting hear Jesus. They are taking up space near Jesus. They could a) notice someone trying to get near Jesus. b) Stand up. c) Get out of the way. But they didn’t even do this. Luke 11: 52"Woe to you experts in the law … you yourselves have not entered, and you have hindered those who were entering." Jesus has a further rebuke in Luke 11: “43"Woe to you Pharisees, because you love the most important seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces.” The scribes were not concerned that someone was trying to get to Jesus. They had no compassion on the paralytic. All they were concerned with was making sure they could put this itinerant preacher in his place by making corrections to his poor-doctrine. (Didn’t he know that only God can forgive sin? That’s elementary! Clearly this preacher is confused.) So instead of receiving what he had to say as good; they could not because they were “questioning in their hearts.” They were not faith-filled like sons of Abraham (hearing the truth and believing it) They were self-filled like sons of the devil. Because they were full of self, they had doubt of the merit of anybody else, including Jesus (If you want something done right; do it yourself.) Because they were self-filled, they did not have eyes to see the paralytic needed help getting to Jesus.

But the four men and the paralytic were not focused on their obstacle in the Pharisees. They did not stand back judging them for taking up the closest space to Jesus. They did not whine, complain or grow angry and bitter. (for the would have, if they had focused on the Pharisees) But they instead focused on Jesus, (as shown previously by the passage emphasis on the word “him” in verses 3 and 4.) They had reason to doubt they could get near Jesus, but they had faith to believe they could do it anyway. And they did.

8:56am: "Make Poverty History" "End World Hunger" and other such campaigns
Jesus did not come to make poverty history, although he will. Jesus did not come to end world hunger, although he will. "For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost." Luke 19:10 "And he said to them, "Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out." Mark 1:38

Jesus is also on a misison. He also has a campaign. "Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, 15and saying, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel." Jesus mission is the coming of the kingdom of God, now in part and in it's future fullness.

Here are the side effects of the coming rule of God--He will make sin history. He will end the world sin problem. People will do righteousness in Jesus name. Another side effect is that poverty is history. Another side effect is that world hunger is history. He accomplished this by dying on the cross, making atonement for our sin so that we can have a relationship with God, who knows no sin. Our enemy wants to distract us from Jesus mission (advancing the kingdom of God)

Our enemy wants us to settle for focusing on side-effects so that he can keep us distracted from the mission. He wants us to treat the side-effects without addressing the disease. If Christ came to make hunger history, he would have just done a more magnificent miracle than feeding 4000 people. He would have people lining up every day to eat. He would have people lining up every day to get money and training so they wouldn't be poor. Of course, then by comparison, there is always somebody richer than you; so there is no way to end relative poverty.

However, time and time again we see Jesus shying away from providential miracles in order to preach the gospel. He said "this is why I came" and if this is Jesus focus, it should be ours.

I write this for myself. I am distracted every week! I tutor kids after school. Many times I will focus on the fact that these kids are ill-equipped to be effective in the world because of lack of education and poverty. I want to help them. Time and time again I am frustrated by my inability to do this. Andrea said "You can't be the father they never had. You can't fix all their problems." It is hard for me to believe that. I am limited. It is so humbling. The depth of the hole in these kids is so deep that I do not have enough to fill it with. They are so needy. I work with them 6 hours a week. maybe 20 minutes a person a week. That is n o t h i n g. It is so small and insignificant and ineffective when you realize that the world is pouring tons of dirt on them every day, I come to clean them with a spray-bottle. Pleading with one of the kids "you are not stupid. you are smart." "I'm stupid." "You say that one more time and you're going to write "I'm smart." 25 times until you believe the truth. I don't want you saying or believing any lies about yourself. "I'm stupid." "Alright, get out your pen." "No." "Okay I'm going to get the director, and you can explain to him why you don't want to cooperate."

I am distracted by the myriad of problems I see every day. I want to fix them all. But Jesus says there is only one to fix, and it's not mine to fix. All I have to do is lead people to Jesus (Mark 2:3), and he will take better care of them than I ever could.

Finally, Read Mark 2:1-12. Synopsis: A paralytic man comes to jesus carried on a mat. Jesus says "Your sins are forgiven" Pharisees say "How can you say that, are you saying you're God?" Jesus answered: "Which is easier to say, 'your sins are forgiven' or 'take up your mat and walk'? But so that you may know that the son of man has authority to forgive sins, take up your mat and go home. He immediately got up picked up his mat and went home and everybody was amazed.

Jesus is more focused on this man's sin problem than he is on his paralysis (physical) problem. He uses physical healing to dramatize his divine, soul-cleansing, sin-erasing healing. He solves physical problems as the means to the end of solving the spiritual problem and so should we.

There's obviously a lot to talk about here. Comments welcome.

7:40am: Conservative and Progressive
The word for Conservatives:
[2] And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. [3] And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. [4] He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
[5] And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
(Revelation 21:2-5 ESV)

The word for Progressives:
[The Creation of the World]
[1:1] In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth....
[31] And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.
(Genesis 1:1,31 ESV)

In middle school, my politics teacher told me that conservatives always want to "turn back the clock" to "the way things were." and progressives want "turn the clock forward, break away from tradition". The way I see it, you're both right because God made it good in the beginning and he'll make it good in the end and we can all agree the world needs help today.

It seems it would be foolish to marry-up with one of these political philosophies. Should we turn back the clock on the progress made on the issues of civil rights and racism in this country? No! Should we turn the clock forward, and break away with those worthy traditions on which our government was founded just for the sake of newness? No!

The problem with marrying either philosophy is that both philosophies are transient and neither has a monopoly on godliness. Marry up with God because he's godly and timeless; and we need more timely godliness in government.

3:04pm: Compulsion to do ministry
[2] shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly;
(1 Peter 5:2 ESV)

Compulsion: Compelling. Constraint. Coercion. A strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will; Being forced to do something against your will."

In 2006 I was told to do something I did not want to do. I didn't do it right away. My story has been one of God transforming my heart to want to do what he told me to. But I still have trouble truly enjoying urban youth ministry. Mostly because I think I'm pretty bad at it and there's a lot we could do better. I also see how what I do is terribly ineffective considering just how large and complex the problems facing urban youth today are. Conversely, I truly enjoy teaching the Bible. I'm doing it again on Sunday. It isn't a burden for me; it's my life. It's my passion. It's my gifting. I suppose it's my calling.

It's easy for me to love God and his Word because they are so perfect, consistent, true, and righteous. But people aren't that way. So it makes sense to me that you love them because you have to (because otherwise they have no merit of themselves to be worth loving) This leads me to love mostly out of duty. But God calls me still higher. I'm supposed to love not out of duty; but out of my overflowing joy in Christ. This is a task too great for me.

I find myself using the verbage of constraint in describing where my life is headed. I have said that I view myself as constrained to do ministry where God called me to be in 2006. The odd thing is that when I tell this to someone, tension usually increases, and people find a way to communicate that I haven't quite got that idea right. And I still don't. I still don't fully understand what I've got wrong here.

I understand in theory that ministers should not operate under compulsion; but of willing love. For if someone took you out to a nice meal because they were forced to, and you asked why they did it, they would say "I didn't really want to, but it is my duty." Conversation over that meal would be forced, awkward, legalistic, and saddening. You wouldn't be refreshed by this encounter. But if someone takes you out to dinner because they want to, you may ask why they did it. They would reply "It's my pleasure!" And because it's their pleasure, it is also yours. The conversation is uplifting and purposeful.

I struggle with the fact that love is a command. If it is a command, then how can I avoid doing it under compulsion?

9:07pm: Parasol
Anti-matter
Anti-gravity
Anti-freeze
Anti-heat

If the sun's packin' heat;
I'm packin' anti-heat.
If the sun's burnin' we,
We'll freeze this street

I dual-wield 'em.
Locked and loaded.
Double ammunition.
Double-think.

Rain or shine
my 'brella's is with me
so when it come down,
I put 'em up quickly.

This song is for my haters
who don't know me.
To explain slim shady
crossin' your street.

---

This poem is dedicated to my fiancé, Katherine Faist.